Godzilla haunts my dreams.
That's the original theater poster for Toho's 1954 masterpiece, Gojira.
Thanks to 50+ years of (awesome) bullshit, a lot of people don't realize that Godzilla's first adventure was actually, you know, a serious movie.
Here's a synopsis:
Japan gets butt-fucked by a nuclear-powered, fire-breathing dinosaur. Some awesome dude with an eye-patch invents a big metal ball called the oxygen destroyer that... destroys oxygen, but also dissolves flesh like that Mad Scientist Monster Lab toy from the late '80s. That thing was fucking cool!
When I was little, I had a re-occuring nightmare involving a day at the beach with my immediate family. Our picnic was routinely interrupted by ground tremors, followed by roars, followed by this EXACT sight:
Well, there weren't any Japanese peasants in my dream -- usually it was just my parents, my siblings and an Igloo cooler full of Five Alive juice and Hydrox -- but you get the gist.
I was terrified!
Not as terrified as Easter '85 when I peed the bed and woke up at 2 am to find that there was a Masters of the Universe figure in my egg basket that I'd never seen before.
Spikor.
My mom made a pretty fucked-up face when, pee-drenched, I suggested that maybe she should let me stay up and open the toy. And she probably could've handled the situation better than wringing her hands in convulsive despair and screaming, "Shit on my life!Shit on YOU!"
Kidding! She just hit me, and then made me take a bath while she changed my sheets.
By the way, Spikor looked like... this!
Pretty dope, but those boots are really clashing with that loincloth.
See you soon!
PS - Did you notice the blonde kid in that Monster Lab ad? Yeah, he was in both Return of the Living Dead, Part II AND the 1988 remake of The Blob. Rad!
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